we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I see more hoeing in ur future
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