She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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