I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
