just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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