After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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