4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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