Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
