I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
