he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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