This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
