Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
