i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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