Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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