You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize