He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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