Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
