Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize