Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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