Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
