yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
