she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize