I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
