I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Randomize
