Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize