found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
