The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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