I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize