I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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