my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
