Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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