And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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