ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
