Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
