i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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