is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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