I'm lost and stupid without you.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
