i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
