i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
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