I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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