Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
