Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
