I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My vagina is officially offended.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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