My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
