is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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