Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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