OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Me. At least after what I've been through.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
