trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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