There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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