I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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