You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
