i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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