Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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