Define "chronic" masturbator.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
