we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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