i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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