There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
kristin has been a bad kristin
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
