The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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