My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
