I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
