***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm like, not good at living.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
