I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I want you more than these girls want KFC
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
