dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
