I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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