He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so let's talk penis.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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