I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So squirting runs in the family.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
