woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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