At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
