i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
