Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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