all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
