My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
