Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
