We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
