Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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