Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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