his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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