so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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