wat bout pragnant strippers??
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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