is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
