Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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