You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
